She didn't say anything about them at first (Iwasn't even sure she'd found them), but simply began to cry as hard as she could. Something else was obviously up, and when I pressed her for it, she broke off her wailing long enough to sob, “You're better looking than I am!" I didn't agree... but I would be lying if I claimed that that didn't thrill me. For years whenever we discussed my dressing, she would always point out how senseless it all was, since I must look absolutely ludicrous. Still, I guess it turned out to be the most expensive compliment I've ever received; within a month she had left me for good.

Meanwhile I had also begun to seek out other TVs, in the dim hope that I might not really be so unique and alone. My initial efforts were, with much trepidation and reserve, made through the infamous "correspondence clubs", perhaps more accurately known as the "sex clubs.” I did make a few contacts, but it didn't take long to discover that nearly all of them had a lot more on their minds than TVism, and that ended that. One of them even asked me to give up my male identity for good and marry him - and even promised to give up dressing if I would! That scared me so badly I was afraid even to write back.

Amazingly, however, (considering the odds) I did locate one honest-to-goodness TV and pretty quickly she directed me to Virginia Prince and TVia, and that, I have to confess, opened up a whole new era. For one thing, I finally found that TVism didn't have to be off-color, and that there were plenty of others who felt as I did about that. In fact, I don't know that I've ever learned so much about myself in such a short period of time as I did in poring over those first issues. We seemed to feel similarly about many things; indeed, I could see something of myself in nearly every history. so much so that far from continuing to feet that I was unique, I soon began to suspect that I was, in truth, pretty run-of-the-mill. . . for a TV.

With this self-acceptance has come not only real peace of mind but at at the same time an even greater sense of identity... on both sides of the gender ledger. I know now that the strong attraction I feel for women is not inconsistent with my desire to be like them, indeed, that the two are probably very closely related.

Whatever rigors of adjustment the last year or

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so has